I don’t know what I’m trying to escape,

but I’ve got a bag and a half worth of oreos (sent straight from the homeland) and a mixtape of M’s wicked music taste…. and no fucking weed.

I don’t want to pack up. I don’t want to catch up just to say goodbye. I want to go to sleep knowing that when I wake up I can still come back to the same bed at the end of the day.

At this moment I feel as if I’m in the midst of chaos, torn between different lives and romantic fantasies. My heart feels like it’s going to burst and it’s all because I fell in love with this fucking massive piece of land that bears the most stunning scenery incomparable to anything I’ve seen; a land that provides for the beautiful people that have come into my life and lingered long enough to make me feel like there’s a little more too it than just luck.

As always, life has worked it out. Why my last sesh was with Derpid last night (also the first person I seshed with in Brissie), and why I’m down to my last dollar. So I can’t run. So I can’t hide. I’m facing this with my heart wide open because I need to be able to handle it. And I will.

Tomorrow I have a window seat to green hills and blue sky on loop for twelve hours. Then I get into Sydney late at night, as per usual, only this time I don’t rock up at Macca’s to crash and head to C Hoang’s the night after or even E Linda’s. This time it’s straight to C Hoang’s for a hello and a goodbye, E Linda’s for some good cousin time, sleep (or lack of it), and finally… sayonara Australia!…. for now. My only consolation is knowing that there’s no way I’m never seeing any of this ever again.

Home is where the heart is.